Paramour by Brian Warner

from Para-Noir by Marilyn Manson

i need to get laid yesterday
stop me if you've heard this one before
everything might be okay
sexiness is godliness
i was born in a holiday inn
there's a monster at the end of this poem
love means never having to say "just let me put the tip in"
i want to bust a double horizontal on your ass
reconciling the disparity between desire and reality since 1982
when i saw you at the mall last night you looked at me in such a way that i felt i was going to remove you from facebook as soon as i got home
if you ever look at me like that again i am going to memorize the bible
the women in my life are blogging
how many novels do i need to write in order to see you naked
date rape is for lovers
fuck me i'm famous
i want to do it with miranda july
do you think she's a scientologist?
no one is taught how to make love in school
i don't understand what i'm looking at
let's make internet babies
will you be my victim
let's make date rape
not safe for work
this poem is not safe for work
sodomy is not a crime
sodomy is a sexual act
statutory rape is not a crime
statutory rape is neither rape nor pedophilia
am i the only one who understands what i mean by that
each woman is a universe
please fuck me until i can't remember my name
everything is connected
employees must wash their hands before returning to work
i need to get laid yesterday
i like thighs
there is no vagina near my penis and it is making me sad
there is pain underneath my tongue and i don't know what happened but i want a refund
i want to be in a loving and committed relationship with someone who lets me call them a slut while we're fucking and likes it
this is the part where i have nothing meaningful to say
there is a small space above my right eyelid which i call sleep
the way to a man's heart is through sexual innuendo, obviously
i'll give you the best 45 seconds of my life
i want to be your god
will you be my fuckmonkey
are you a religious experience
perfection is me in you always
there's a nightmare in my pants and i want you to swallow
doesn't anyone want to transcend space and time with me?
i will send an army of minions to perforate your every orifice
the wicked and deceitful generation asketh for a sign and there shall no sign be given!
i want to throw a brick wall through your window, in the biblical sense
my life is like a lot of nothing with fleeting moments of feeling like it's okay
i will need your full name and detailed description of any identifying scars
if i ever move to detroit i am going to start using heroin, i am certain of this
there's a hydrogen bomb inside my heart and it wants me to have sex with a prostitute
not every body of water is a swimming pool
please let me masturbate inside of you
you look sexy in that one picture
my penis is almost invisible
let's go to church
i love you more when you're afraid of me
your pussy is a promise and i'm dying for you
i am going to tie you to the ceiling until you learn to bleed when i say so
you're so hot it's making me racist
will you please put your pussy in my mouth
sometimes children at the grocery store look at me in such a way as if to say "why are you looking at my mommy like that"
2/3 of all traffic violations take place within a quarter mile radius of my penis
your cunt is built like a wound that will heal my achilles tendon
you're so hot you make me want to masturbate
you're so hot you make me want to punch someone else in the face while i'm fucking you
you're so hot you make me want to become you so that i can fuck myself
there's a mystery between your legs and i want to solve it
i am standing at the edge of a precipice of darkness
hold me
please make a home for my penis with your mouth
please make a home for my tongue with your vulva
i will clone myself six times and gang bang you repeatedly
i don't usually look at my phone ever
i tend to ignore it in hopes that it will
desperately want to fuck me
i'm sorry if that's not okay
i am who am